This is CRUCIAL. You might find yourself to be extremely outgoing, able to talk to anyone and everyone in the room without hesitation. Or you may be the complete opposite. Shy, reserved, and socially awkward. Regardless of where you stand on the social anxiety meter, know this: 4 quarters is always the better option versus 100 pennies. 

This was a saying my mom taught me from a young age. Back then, I thought it was something she would just tell me to make me feel better about the “lack” of friendship I had around me. It didn’t help that I would look at my twin sister who had her phone blowing up constantly with the dozens of group texts that she belonged in. But looking at the saying now, I can tell what she meant by that. It matters a great deal more when you have a core group of friends that fully know you rather than a group who can’t even tell you what your middle name is. 

What makes a good friend? I believe that question can be answered in many different ways, and is an extremely individualized opinion when it comes to an earthly friend. That’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about what makes a friendship that represents Christ. I mean, after all, isn’t that what friendships are for? 

While reading this, my prayer for you is that you can think of at least one person in your life that matches these qualities. You might even learn some tips that you may want to try out to define you as a friend! 

If we look in the Bible Jesus refers to friendship quite a bit. He gives a perfect outline on how to be a good friend multiple times throughout scripture. I want to specifically talk about John 15. 

Before Jesus goes into friendship, He is sitting with his disciples during His last meal on earth and is telling them all about how He is the way to God. He states that He is the vine and God is the vine dresser, and we are the branches. Jesus goes on to say that if His followers abide in Him, His Father will be glorified. That is where I am getting with this ramble. 

Friendships are meant to glorify God. God did not intend for us to walk through anything alone, so God sends us friends to walk through life with.  In verse 12 Jesus states “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”(ESV)  Let’s dive into that. And abide in it. 

Jesus loved with absolutely no reason to. There wasn’t an if, and, or but to it. He represented unconditional love throughout His whole life, from choosing a tax collector as a disciple, to touching the unclean to heal. He did not set restrictions or rule books on who He befriended. And He loved all. All while being completely hated by the majority. 

This is what, I believe, defines a good friend. Someone who loves you for you and nothing more or nothing less. It’s someone who fully knows you and still chooses you. It’s the person who is a safe space for you, knowing that you can say absolutely anything to them with no fear of judgement. Someone who represents Christ in their every day life and challenges you to do the same. 

When you find these people, keep them. Don’t take them for granted. Remind them often how valued they are. Pray for them daily. They are sent to you for a reason from the God that knew who and what you needed. That is SO COOL. 

Be this friend to others. 

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” John 15:13 (ESV). What a powerful and loving friend we have in Jesus.